Having recently turned 27 and realised that I'm increasingly at risk of slipping into mediocrity and middle age, I've decided to win Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony awards, and will begin working towards this goal in 2016.
I know you probably won't be taking this seriously, but Audrey Hepburn managed it (her Emmy was for Gardens of the World with Audrey Hepburn, and her Grammy was for Best Spoken Word Album For Children) so I like to think this is a reasonably achievable goal.
Awards I Have Identified as Being Potentially Easiest To Win:
- Emmy: International Emmy for Best Kids Factual Programme
- Grammy: Best Album Notes
- Oscar: Best Live Action Short Film (it turns out there aren't really any super easy ones)
- Tony: Best Book of a Musical (the non-sung story parts of the musical)
Things I Need To Do In 2016 In Order To Turn This Dream Into a Reality
- Write a smash hit comedy musical that can easily be adapted for screen in order to win as many different awards as possible in one go. Frozen/Book of Mormon did pretty well at that.
- Learn to act properly - as in, go to classes and attempt to take them seriously.
- Make friends with a very successful musician and offer to write their album notes for free.
- Write and produce a hauntingly beautiful short film, and enter it into an Oscar-qualifying film festival.
- Post a tweet about how I'm going to win the EGOT so that in a few years, journalists will stumble across it and assume I'm clairvoyant as well as incredibly talented.
You'll see. You'll all see.